Hop Off … The Struggle Bus Episode …

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I am not sure how we are already in March. It seems like Christmas was only a few weeks ago. February came and went so quickly that I think I lost track of time.

I am finishing up the first half of my grad school semester. Only summer, fall, then I graduate with my MBA at the end of this year. I am so ready to be done, then I can venture into other things. Photography is next… or is it?

I have been way off track in February. I haven’t gained any weight, thank goodness, but I haven’t lost any either. I haven’t been feeling that great, I had some traveling that had to be done, school, life, and all the other crappy excuses I can think of other than … I just blew it.

I have high hopes for this month. Tomorrow will be a hurdle because it is my dad’s birthday. He has been gone for almost 19 years and yes I still struggle with his birthday and the day he passed away 8/31/2001. I miss him terribly.

My dad was always frustrated with my weight. Needless to say that if my dad has been gone 19 years and he was frustrated with my weight, I have been battling my weight a very long time. My husband always tells me my dad would be proud of me. After all, I graduated from college, have a good marriage of almost 14 years, and soon I will be done with grad school. What he fails to realize is my dad would be so disappointed in my weight. He never struggled with his weight so he never understood. My dad was always trim, and never thought a thing about it. I have been on the struggle bus since I was 10 years old.

When you are a kid you shouldn’t have to worry about it, but I did, and still do. Today I am more worried about my health than a number on the scale. Back then it was all about being able to fit into the latest and greatest fashion trends, now it is just about getting through the day and recovering.

I know there are a lot of people just like me on the struggle bus. Every day is a battle … seriously a battle. Each day we take it one day at a time, some days it is one minute at a time. One minute at a time…

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15 Pounds down for 2020

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The last six weeks has been a whirlwind but great. Life at work is a little out of control, but I will get through it. At least that keeps work life interesting!!

My weight loss journey is going really well. Hey! it is February 18th and I am still trucking along. I am so excited to be 15 pounds down for 2020 and those 15 pounds came without any pressure or serious drama. I haven’t given up! I have not been perfect with my eating but I have been reasonable.

I have been saying yes if I want something but I have been taking it in small quantities and not over doing it. I have been adding more veggies and water to my diet which always helps. I even roasted a big pan of veggies this weekend so I would have plenty for the week. Meal prep is always progress. I don’t mind doing it but I don’t love it either. It takes a lot of time and effort but it is worth it.

I am happy where I am right now. I would love to have 25 pounds down the drain, but that would have been a struggle and this is a stroll not a sprint for me. If I don’t add a lot of pressure to myself to meet big numbers then I will be successful. Check out my 15 pounds down gift to myself.

Too Faced Palette

Today is only Tuesday but it has been a week already. Work is busy and crazy, life and school are even worse, but here we are making it through. Goals this week are to stay on track, keep the water coming, eat less and move more.

I am lucky to have my husband’s support and have him along for the ride. He is doing so well too! He is 20 pounds’ down!

One day at a time, one bite at a time, move more, eat less….

Weekend Ready!! Are you?

Happy Friday out there!! I am excited for the weekend. This week has been dragging or maybe my ass has been dragging. I am upright and moving forward, I suppose that is a victory.

Happy Friday

My weekend plans involved getting in some exercise and building on the energy I am seeking. I have come home, made dinner, and vegged out every night this week. That isn’t cool when you have goals. I haven’t been feeling the best and my energy has just crapped out.

I have been staying on track for the most part. Yesterday I had a slice of cake which I should have walked away from, but I called it 10 PointsPlus and moved on with my life. I have stuck to my points but I could have made this week a better week by the choices and better decisions.

I am doing well when it comes to my points but I think one of next weeks’ goals will be to add more fresh foods to my diet and less processed foods. I know I can do better when it comes to food. I have goals and one of those is better quality food. Back in my college days I had to eat whatever crap I could afford but life has allowed me to step up my game, I just haven’t chosen to do it.  You got this GIRRRL!!!

My highest weight was 310 pounds…. Embarrassing but a fact. Remember we keep it honest and real around here. Right now I am sitting at 288. I am proud of that number, and I know it will only get better.

I am not allowing the struggle bus in because “NO” is not in my vocabulary. My mom always said that as a toddler there wasn’t any word I hated more than the word NO. Nothing has changed.  I can have what I want, when I want it, it’s all about choices and balance. I am happy right now! I am happy where I am at on the last day of January in a brand new decade.

My goals for next week are

• 100+ ounces of water each day
• Maintaining my daily points without going over
• 30 minutes of exercise for 5 days

Moving on… and Changing

Pirates Beach, Galveston, Texas

I started my new weight loss journey the second week of January. Mentally I knew I wasn’t ready the first week. Lame I know… but we are keeping it honest here. I am happy because I am doing well. I am losing and I am succeeding. I think what is different this time is that I am not being hard on myself. As a matter of fact, I am just taking each day one at a time and I am not putting pressure on myself.

I am using the old Weight Watchers points system PointsPlus. I had a lot of success with it in the past so I am going back. Things are different this time and I am going with the flow. I have to keep reminding myself that life happens and sometimes curve balls are thrown. I just duck and move on.

So far I am down 12.6 pounds for the month of January and I am thrilled. Thrilled because it has been a no pressure situation. If I go over a point, I go over, if I don’t eat enough I don’t. If I want something unhealthy I have it, but I have small serving, and I move on. I am making better choices, choose this, not that. This has been amazing for me. I am not denying myself anything.

My family has joined in with me which is always a nice surprise and a lot of help. This is the longest I have stayed on track in a long time and I am excited for what is still to come.

Sometimes we just need a peacefulness within to be able to move forward with our goals. I am doing everything I can to remove as much stress from my life as possible. I have been looking for different ways home from work trying to find the path of least resistance. I realize that the path doesn’t really matter, what matters is how I handle the path. To be stressed or not to be stressed? I will get home when I get home. I will reach my goal when I reach my goal. Again, the path of least resistance and I will get there when I get there.  I think we could look at most of our situations in life and see that the path will be determined by how I handle it.  

Always keep in mind that some days are easier than others and each day is a work in progress.

Yes, broken but only for a little while….

Something to think about….

I started this site to write down my feelings, hopes, struggles and successes. I don’t know if it will help anyone else but surely it will help me. I have been failing at weight loss for most of my life. I have an eating disorder that most people and my family would laugh at because they would say I am “just fine the way I am.” It’s funny how the people you love and love you back have rose colored glasses on when it comes to you. I guess that is love…

In reality I am a binge eater. For the most part I am not afraid to talk about it. I am certainly not proud of it, but I know it is a little part of who I am but it’s not all of who I am…. I am so many things, but most people don’t know much about me. I pretty much keep to myself and do my own thing. It’s funny because I assume, they “those people” assume a lot about me. Little do they know that I ate an entire box of Girl Scout cookies on my own yesterday and totally spiraled out of control! Nope they didn’t know that… Embarrassing but I did it…

I have been told I look like the preppy girl next door that has never lived much…. But that’s not really the case…

People think I listen to country music because I am from Texas and because I look like someone who would. In truth my favorite band is Metallica, but I like some country too…

Most people assume I am smart because I am college education with a Bachelor’s of Science and a MBA. What they don’t know is that I was diagnosed with a learning disorder when I was in elementary school and nothing has ever come easy to me. Nothing was handed to me (you would know that by my student loan debit). I have had to earn everything by working for it.

Most people think I am a mother with a lot of kids when in fact I have never been able to carry a baby to term.

People see that I live in a big house and assume my life has always been privileged when in fact I grew up in a family with just enough to get by. So yes, I know how the other half live and always will because I was the other half.

I have little dreams that I keep to myself, because they are personal dreams not big dreams like being president. Little dreams like riding a roller coaster again. I feel too fat to do it now. How about riding in an airplane? Yes that would be amazing… it’s been a long time. As silly as it might sound I would love to take a kick boxing class but I wouldn’t been comfortable until I was a little thinner and felt more confident. 9 Round just opened by my house… someday.

I am currently trying to improve my self-esteem by trying Weight Watchers or WW for the 1000^th time or pretty close to that number…  One day at a time right?

The last 3 days of WW have been and epic fail for me. I just been on a binge eating cycle that I can’t seem to jump on. It’s 10am on Tuesday and I haven’t binged or even had the desire so maybe I am back on track? Maybe… I am faithful.

Stay tuned for more fun filled adventures of losing, gaining and everything in between. BTW Hi it’s nice to meet you. I am Kody!!